Bottom line: I will not countenance Angue getting hurt again.. She is her own person granted and I realize that but I do not want her to get dragged into a vicious cycle. This is -not- a may game.. this is people's hearts. Hearts are fragile and weak. There is no such thing as a strong heart save -only- in a committed and loving relationship. Angue gets hurt, I will be forced to react and I will not curb my tongue this time. I will say everything that needs to be said regardless of the sting. For friendship? Perhaps.
I have come a long way in the past couple of years.. You know something? I used to mourn the friendship that I lost when I fell in love with you and finally lost you. Because I didn't see the friendship in my love for Alexi.. but you know what? I finally discovered it.. it was beautiful.. something to treasure. And yes I may mourn one of the females who only ever -really- understood me, but I do not regret my relationship, my committment.. because I feel secure. There are no doubts in my mind... not like at the very end when doubts plauged me and I wondered for the true source of your affection and how come I was not apart of it.
You helped me though, you made me discover so much about myself that I wouldn't of, you helped me to cast off alot of the chains that had tied themselves around my soul. You were there when my grandmother died, and your shoulders acted as my support in such a difficult time. For that I am thankful, and you will have thanks eternally.. for you were the catalyst that helped me to find the man that I was going to marry.. the first man that I had felt comfortable around since Preston and etc.
However please do me a favor....
Before trying to find solace and unity of the soul with someone else, make sure that you are at peace with yourself first. For you cannot love anyone until you love yourself forst and formost.. right?
"I know this much is true..."