Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,

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~It's Love~

I am going to cry and yet I am not. I feel sort of balanced precariously ontop of something I can't control.

Needless to say the past two weeks have been heaven above all else... however why is it that after heaven I must consistantly be plunged into hell.

Yet it is a bearable hell, for last night, oh last night was the most beautiful sexual expirience of my life... for that one night I would bear a thousand hells quite bravely.

Me and Alexi have never really "made love" before.. mostly we referred to it as sex or fucking.. because hey it was.. and we had no problems with it, it didn't make it any less satisfying believe me however we tend to get into alot of kinky stuff.

But I went to take out the garbage and when I came back, Alexi had lit alot of candles in the room, and then he told me to get on the bed (I have a loft bed so it is pretty high up there.) Then we just touched and caressed each other, it was a feast of the eyes and the senses.. the foreplay was drawn out magically and we talked as we made love. It was a fusion of the mind, body and heart to be sure. And I prayed to the Goddess.. to bless our union, I called upon her name.. he did as well.. and we both came.. except it wasn't an orgasm that I had ever expirienced, it was a mind orgasm that had no ties with the body. It was like we didn't need a physical climax, for we both felt very refreshed and energized afterwards... and we felt so much closer.

Then I gave him my wedding ring to charge and he gave me his and we spent the night with those on the chains of our matching amethyst/hemetite necklace. Then at the airport we exchanged them, kissed them and said our vows all over again.

He told me that I was the woman that he had searched his whole life for and that he would never stop loving me.

Just the memory of that makes me sap.

So in theory I am crying because I am sapping, because I miss him, because he is perfect for me...

I think I am also crying because I have to clean my room. *blargs*

I will never stop loving Alexi, I will always be there for him when he needs me. That is enough.

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