Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,

  • Music:

~Writings of sorts~

Crossposted to shitan


Fandom:  Xenogears
Pairing:  Sigurd x Citan (One day I will write for my other favorite pairings in the Xeno-verse.. I promise)
Commentary:   Okay so I decided that on the next song that came on, I would write a drabble based on it..  and the song with the lyrics came on, (And I baited this for the muses.. whoever got it first would get it written)  And Hyuga did.    I can imagine that a first kiss would be near catastrophic for Hyuga, especially if he was wrecked with guilt.   I do not think he would go lightly into an affair with Sigurd without some guilty thoughts about his family up in Shevat waiting for him.   Not to mention that if I had a wife like Yui and a child like Midori, I would be feeling quite a bit of guilt. (Though luckily to be fair, my Yui muse.. she's a fangirl.  There she is waving pictures of Hyuga and Sigurd even as we speak.. naughty Yui!)


"I know I'm lost... please let me suffer in silence.
I've said enough..
Please help me hide from the ghosts from my past..
For awhile.."
  -- "Suffer in Silence" by Apolyptigama Beserk


Guilt had suitably overcome Hyuga Ricdeau, no, now Citan Uzuki.  Guilt because of what had happened the night before.  He had not intended for it to happen.  It had been a few glasses of sake, each successful glass getting easier and easier to drink underneath the watchful gaze of Sigurd.   Though that gaze became less watchful.   In retrospect Hyuga knew he had been wrong for he knew that Sigurd could never be held accountable for what happened after each successful drink.   Never had the fire element been able to hold his alchohol -ever-.   It was easy to get him drunk, and he acted accordingly.   Everything that Hyuga had loved about Sigurd came out then in the gun room.

And then they had kissed.  It only stood to reason that the kiss became deeper and more stormy.   After all after 12 years, all the feelings were a deluge that had been pent up and repressed.  Unfortunately when Hyuga had seen Sigurd for the first time aboard the deck of the Yggsdrasil, he had been able to feel a crack sliver through the defenses around his heart.    No matter what he had stuffed in that crack, the battlements grew weaker and weaker.

A waiting game, that was what it was.   Waiting until the moment that the walls would fall with baited breath.

It was all that he had hoped for, and even more of what he feared.   The reverberations of but a single kiss, he did not want to dwell upon it.   For a single kiss, cities had fallen.   But for Hyuga, he feared a fall of a different kind.   A fall that would hurt him more then he had ever dreamt possible.   It had taken him his entire self control to push Sigurd away, and even then the longing still remained.

This kind of fall was something his wings were no good against.

There was a knock on the door along with a concerned voice, one that clenched his heart keenly.   The voice was now sober, that voice probably did not even remember

"Hyu.. are you alright?"

But there was no answer, Hyuga would refuse to answer until he had suitably composed himself from a single kiss.

A kiss that tore slivers of longing through his heart, wanting more even while he knew that he had no right to claim it.

Well there is my random writing of the day, now to go and archive it at shitan


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