Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,
Jyuu
jyuufish

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~I don't wanna live without your love~

I have thought this out, and I think as far as sappy love songs go, I think it is a tie between Breathe and Chicago. I mean damn, I could prose on about the virtues of Chicago. I want to be the recipient of that type of song. I mean listen.. I mean this is the ideal song

"Thought it wouldn't matter if we didn't stay together,
And if it was over, baby it was for the better.
I was thinking I would be alright til I thought it all through.
Now I know that I ain't really living if I have to live without out

I don't wanna live without your love,
I don't wanna face a night alone.
I can never make it through my life,
If I have to make it on my own.
I don't want to love nobody else,
I don't wanna find somebody new.
I don't wanna live my life alone,
I just want to live my life with you.

Guess I have to go away, so much I had to go through.
Yes I had to lose you to realize how much I love you.
Can we make the fire burn again, burn a little stronger.
Cause I have been alone and baby I can't be alone any longer.

I don't wanna live without your love,
I don't wanna face a night alone.
I can never make it through my life,
If I have to make it on my own.
I don't want to love nobody else,
I don't wanna find somebody new.
I don't wanna live my life alone,
I just want to live my life with you.

If I had to make it on my own.
My life would never be the same,
My love would never be the same.
I don't wanna live without your love.


I think sometimes that Matt Cross thinks that about me, sometimes I think that he realizes how wrong he treated me and he is still holding a torch for me. That is what I heard from Amber last year when I talked to her on the phone. I did talk to Matt however it was with the camadrerie of old friends that have been through alot. I did love Matt in my own way, he was just too.. difficult for me to understand.. (much like all the July 14th guys that I have gone out with) It was like he had a wall built around himself that I had a hard time trying to scale, even though I tried valiently to.

You know the song that Matt told me was our song? *sits down* "I can't stop loving you" by Brian Adams. Now I can't listen to that song without inwarldy cringing, he wrote that song in my memory book. The book that I will never show -anyone- His note was too personal for -anyone- to read. I would not even let Alexi look upon it, because that note was meant for my eyes only.

Matt was the first guy I let myself to get physically close to, and the last one before my husband. He was the first guy I gave a margin of trust too, and even it wasn't as much as I had given to Alexi. I recall when I told Matt that I loved him, I was crying. Because Matt refused to say the words, he just held me. And then in my memory book he wrote that he loved me (and at the time I was going out with Preston) He had to withhold the memories, that is what I told myself I would never do. When I felt that I loved someone I would tell them. I remember when I told Alexi that I loved him, it was actually through a note, I had to tell him, if not to his face. And then a few weeks later, he said those words back. Told me that he loved me.

I love Alexi, *sighs all sappily* Because he compliments me, He is the yang to my yin. He isn't afraid to tell me what he is feeling, he doesn't hide his emotions, he is completely honest with me and he wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt me. (Unintentionally and he would more then likely be apologizing for days.) And he makes me happier then any other person has a right to make me happy.

I love that man, I am happy to be married to him.
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