Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,

I feel that not RPing is very theraputic for me.    And for once all my muses agree..  you know.  That is the one good thing about muses.  That they can help you during these times.  I am trying to draw strength from my Citan muse, learning the lessons that he had to face, as well as Baralai and well Jin.. he's helping me to smile.    Telling me that it doesn't always have to be serious.    These valuable lessons from muses who are very close to me.  My Iruka muse just wants to take me out for Ramen and be motherly to me, my Fuji muse.. well okay so my Fuji muse wants me to go out and cause some pain.. but well I think that only has something to do with my Inui muse's juice.

But yes, a month should be taken, in which I don't RP..  that way I can gather a certain clarity around myself.  That way I can properly heal.  If I have not healed by then, yes I will take as much time as I need to.  It's good for me.. and I can still talk to friends, and grow closer to them, but I do not need muses trying to front for me, where I confuse their feelings with my own and vice versa.

What cued me in to this was yesterday morning when I was playing with Vincent and Jin..  well I suddenly got the impression that I could not -breathe-.  And I don't want that... that is when I knew I just was -not- ready.

When your heart is tied up to something or someone so strongly, if you undo the ties too quickly, you will get knots that press against your heart, then you are automatically forcing something.  Going slow is the way to do it.. because that way if you are gentle and thorough, you can untie those fragile knots.. and leave your heart still intact.

Wow, a serious post.  I've a feeling this journal will get more of them.
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