Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,

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~New for 2005~

You know.. 

The problem with having many shared friends is the fact that she is going to run into me on friend's page anyways.  If she does not think I am going to be mature about it and be courteous to respect her wishes on the no contact thing, I do not mind.  However I would just like to say that fox_reed's intentions for adding me to her personal journal were pure and stemmed from the fact that I wanted to open up to Fox and I did not want to allow barriers to get in the way like I have been doing.  I never intended anything, and while I am not healed yet, this new year has made me feel good.. and as dissonanceburn pointed out, how you feel on New Years Day sort of symbolizes how you will feel the rest of the year... and I feel pretty damn good about myself.  Better then I felt last year.. that's for certain.

I will never do anything to bad mouth someone I was very much in love with.  I will not even do it in locked posts.  Hell the only filters I have are Kurohyou Only and Dizzy and Kuro only.. so anything that I write, she could read -anyways.

Despite what happened, despite everything.. she was a very special person to be for so very long.  And I would do nothing to taint the memories.  I am certainly not going to do it to her like I tried to do with other people.  That was part of my resolution.. and being offered a second chance, meant the most to me.  Because I did not feel like I deserved it.  That Michelle could take me back as a friend.. well this time I am not screwing it up.

Did I just rant.. yes I did. *gets off my soapbox*

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