Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,
Jyuu
jyuufish

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~Normally won't rant about things like this~

For as many christmases as I can remember back in my childhood.  My grandmother always had a tradition.  Living with someone who held on to the traditions of Christmas, we celebrated Christmas.. heavily.    The week before Christmas my grandmother would crack out the cookbook.  The cookbook that was heavily notated with recipes from my greatgrandmother. (This cookbook was a family heirloom) and then things would be bought for the proceedings of of cooking.

My grandmother made it all... fudge, cookies in three different kinds of flavors, breads of every kind, peanut brittle, all sorts of goodies that you see in bakery windows.    And Divinity.

Divinity was a sacred ritual.  It involved her boiling the candy mixture, and then the whipping of the egg whites and then the mixing of hte mixture.  I was always hanging around to lick the blender spools after she was done.    And then she'd form it and lay it on wax paper.

Unfortunately as grandmother died, so did most of my holiday cheer, being that my grandmother -made- my Christmases.  *is starting to choke up right now*  But yesterday I decided to make divinity.. for the first time after my grandmother died.  Which has been nearly 4 years.. (Five years, may thirtyith)

I added the sugar and the corn syrup and the water, watching it bubble as it slowly heated up to the appropriate temp.. I beat the egg whites carefully until they were to stiff peaks,  I threw myself into making this candy.

And I actually did it.  I made them exactly like how my grandmother made them.  And for the first time in many years.. I I found that little bit of Christmas spirit that I lost.  I think I found something more important.. the spirit of my gramdmother came out in me when I was making that candy.  I know it is hard to describe for -anyone- to realize.. but for a moment.. she and I were one.

Now I need to go and pack for Montana. Gods knows when we are leaving. -_-; 

I'll probably have a banner up to signify my leave of absence.. for all of four days. X_x
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