Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,

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~OMG! HET~ *snickers*

This is sure proof that Nia -can- write het.. and she got it in her mind to write.. She also wrote it for her Sora-bunny! ^_^ Being that me and Sora actually have a straight couple together. Introducing.. Cedric Dumas.

"All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
This is not enough"

Evening had touched the sky, coloring it a rich purple that was compacted with the lights of Valdora. A long evening to be sure and one that he was eager to escape from, he had dismissed himself with unusual hastening because he could not stay at the table anymore. Especially with Dazil sitting at that same table, eating the same food. It just gave Cedric an overall bad taste in his mouth and he found that the Michael's usually superb cooking had suddenly gone sour, very sour. He had excused himself from the table, pushing himself up off of it, escaping Patricia's slightly curious look as well as one from Roah that he didn't get, one that was subtly sympathetic. He didn't need that.

The air cleared his lungs as he slipped down onto the steps to look out at the night sky. He couldn't see any stars, perhaps it was better that way. For to see them would be to wish on them, and Cedric Dumas had used up his wishes a -long- time ago. He didn't think he believed in them anymore.

But he remembered when he once believed in wishes and dreams. Gods it had seemed long ago.

The Dumas family had never really be -renowned- for anything except for trading in Lethe. Wealthy merchants, that is what they were.. trading and bartering for goods and services. Cedric of course had been expected to carry on the business and he hadn't seemed to mind. Even though Cedric would of by far rather cast his dreamy gaze onto the sea waves that sparkled underneath a dusky sky. Dreaming away the days on the seaside.

That is when a mermaid came into his life.. or what he had seen as being a mermaid. She had been walking along the waves, such a beautiful girl that Cedric wondered if she had just came out of his dreams. He had been building a castle of fine sand. She had paused right beside him, looked down at that castle of sand and then silently and soundlessly but with laughing brown eyes decided to help him with it, her long red locks whipping around in the salty sea breeze.

Together they had built a huge sandcastle and then together they watched the waves lick against it's mighty fortress. Not even having to exchange a word, it was instant kinship between them, passed with the pat patting of hands against wet sand and the diligent carving of windows and steps.

"I'm in serious shit
I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help
It's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise."

He had turned, asked her for her name albeit a bit shyly and was given her name. "Roana Kirkland.." Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl Cedric had immediately thought. Royalty of Sylvia, a Princess even. Cedric thought that she fit every definition of fairytale princess that he had kept close to heart but had never met, until now. Years were spent between them, idyllic summers in which they romped around the shore in their games and dreams with their imaginations ruling their every waking moment on that shore that no seemed so distant in Cedric's eye.

Their favorite game had been where Roana pretended to be kidnapped and Cedric had to 'rescue' her. Feeding in to Cedric's childlike dreams to be her knight, to be her chosen one. Even then Cedric was devoted to her and perhaps more then a little bit in love with the ethreal maiden that came to visit him on his lonely shore each summer.

And then one summer he found out that next year Roana would be going to the Acadamy of Magic in Tressyre and for some reason, Cedric wanted to go. He didn't just want summers with her, he wanted to be with her all year.. he wanted to see her in all seasons.. leaves, snow, flowers.... And so he went to his parents and told him that he wanted to be sent to Magi. Of course they had looked at him askance, asking him why he wanted to do that when he had a perfectly good career in trade to fall back on. But Cedric already had made up his mind and sent in his application to Magi.

He was accepted and much to his parents displeasure he headed to Tressyre to attend the same school that his Roana was attending.

" keep asking myself
Wondering how..
I keep closing my eyes
But I can't block you out
Want to fly you to a place
Where it's just you and me
Nobody else
So we can be free"

He remembered how he brow-beat the sorting talisman into putting him into Ifrit even as Magus Bainbridge held the talisman over his head and swung it. Asking it to put him in the same house as Roana. He must of expelled a million prayers in his mind but finally it sorted him into Ifrit and he walked to the table, doubting himself a little bit that it would not work. Of course little did he knew that he technically was -not- Ifrit material, he was shy and dreamy whereas the boys of Ifrit had a little bit more bravado. But he was blind to that. Until of course Magus called out that Roana Kirkland was going to be going to Ifrit. His face could of lighted up a thousand rooms as he patted the seat next to him with enthusiasm that was well suited to him at this point

And they were inseperable. The only things that they -didn't- do together was sleep together or follow each other to the restroom. Best friends, yes. With a fair share of puppy love on Cedric's part. They went everywhere together, wandered to Tressyre on weekends off, studied to pass the classes together. Most mistook them for boyfriend and girlfriend, not like Cedric had ever minded. It did not keep the guys away of course but Roana did always seem to refuse them for some reason.

Cedric had been flattered in a way.

Until he had found out on the eve of graduation that she was engaged to a guy that he had disliked back in his 3rd year of the academy. Dazil Demitrius, an undine house 7th year that had tried his hardest to wedge himself between Cedric and Roana.

"All the things you said
All the things you said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things you said
This is not enough..."

They met on the seaside again that summer yet this was the first time that it was tinged with something bittersweet. No longer children, but young adults ready to go out into the world. Cedric listening as Roana talked about the plans for the wedding that were to be held in the autumn and the fact that this would be the last summer that they had together. Saddened, melancholy.. crying tears every night into his pillow even though he did not let Roana see them during the light of day. He was brave, listening perhaps even supportive even while he knew that come september this would all change.

The night before Roana's departure back to Trinity City, Cedric and her had lain underneath the stars and watched then flicker and glow. And then he did something he shouldn't of but had been tempted to. He kissed her.. and she had done something that she shouldn't of.. she kissed him back.

Kissing led to making out, making out led to intimacies underneath those forgiving stars. But before they could of gone all the way, Cedric's nobility had kicked in. She was not -his-.. how could he do this to himself, to her.. and so he ran as far as his feet could carry him. She was a princess, he was a lowly son of a merchant. Never being able to aspire to her.

What did he do? He went into Valdora, got drunk and gave himself to -any- woman that would have him.

"And I'm all mixed
Feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault
But I want her so much
Wanna fly her away
Where the sun and the rain
Come in over my face
Wash away all the shame."

He attended the wedding when he recieved the invite, half of him tempted -not- to go but he knew that he had to, he had to be there for Roana. And it nearly killed him to see her walking down that aisle with a soft but scared smile on her face, walking toward her intended, Dazil. She looked so beautiful and Cedric couldn't help but feel like he had lost a little bit of his soul with each step she took

Vows said, rings exchanged and Cedric stood there helpless. He did not interrupt the wedding, he did not have the heart nor the courage. After the ceremony he burst out of their as fast as he could. He could not justifiably take part in the celebration when every step she danced with Dazil would send a jolt of emotional pain through him. He passed his night in a little inn room, obsessing over how it would be to touch her, caress her, pour out into her all the love in his heart and driving himself nearly mad.

The next day, he enlisted in the Royal Guards as a trainee.

He worked hard and was able to pass the requirements in a year.. his uniform, he had been proud of it for it gave him something to distinguish himself from teh rest of the Dumas's who had by that point thought he would ammount to nothing but a lacksidasil dreamer. The first night of his comission, he came back to the shore to walk along it's length.

And like a dream he saw Roana there as well, looking wistfully out to the sea. She looked so beautiful and he couldn't help but go up and talk to her, showing her his uniform and they talked about lighthearted subjects that were not -too- saddening. That was when Roana extended the invitation to come visit at Demitrius Palace.

Could he ever of resisted her? He was there within the month, for friendship's sake. Staying there for a few weeks as Roana's hospitality allowed. Dazil knew that he was there, had allowed it because Roana had been 'lonely'.

"When they stop and stare
Don't worry me
Because I'm feeling for her
What she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend
I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad
Going out of my head."

Cedric didn't know how it had happened. One moment they were both laying in front of the fire in Roana's sitting room talking about life and philosophy. The next moment they were on the bed with Roana's body pressed underneath his, her beautiful face contorted in pleasure as he drove in deeper and deeper to feel those moans reverberate through him and bring him to his own climax. Never had he felt like he had given his soul like that, but he knew he had. It had been the sadness that Roana had confided to him about.. and he knew that. He had wanted to take away that sadness and had used his body to do that.

His honor had gone completely out the window and in the afterglow he was consumed with guilt over what he had done, sleeping with another man's wife. Despite how much he despised that man, it was unforgiveable. Despite what he -felt- for Roana, it wasn't proper.

But still he went back. Once his soul was lost, he felt no need to summoun it back up. Went back to her bed nightly while Dazil was on a business trip to Trinity. His heart aching after each coupling while his body only wanted, no demanded more. But one night Dazil came back unexpectedly.. -caught- them in bed together. He had not reacted how they had expected.

"When you're.. done.. come see me, Sir Dumas."

And so he had, much to Roana's protest to leave. However Cedric knew what he had done and likewise he was going to take responsibility for it. He composed himself together and stepped into Dazil's library where Dazil forbid him to -ever- see Roana again. And in the occasion that he did.. he was never to speak to her.

It hurt Cedric to do so but he knew that he was in the wrong and so he mutely nodded, set his jaw and then walked out, walked away from Demitrius Palace and walked toward a future without Roana in it. It was not a future that he wanted to live but he had made his bed and he was going to lie in it.

"Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see
Have I lost my mind?"

A life without Roana, so many long years that he had gotten through. A life save for catching glimpses of her at royal functions. Always trying to keep himself away from her, struggling to ignore her whenever she tried to make eye contact with him. Because if he looked into her eyes, he would do exactly what honor -didn't- dictate, he'd lose himself to her anew. She always had that power to get him to do -anything- for her save for pulling the moon from the sky.

When Aidan was born, he -knew- that the child was his. It was the eyes. Aidan had -his- eyes. He knew that Dazil knew as well.. what else could explain the hatred that the man held for his firstborn son? A woman that he could never claim as a wife and a boy that he could never claim as his son.

The only things that made his life bearable where the friendship of Patricia and Roah and the goings on of the Palace. In time his dedication paid off and he was elevated to a position that was just under the Queen herself in terms of the military. All troops of Sylvia answered to Sir Cedric Dumas and he was renowned for his quick thinking and judgement strategy wise. Finally he had made a name for himself.

But he had exchanged his romantical and dreamy nature to one that one continually practical and logical. He had locked up his emotions in a little box and put the box some place safe.

"Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?"

Someplace where he couldn't even get to them.

"This is not enough..."

"All the Things She Said" by TaTu

Songfic by Nia Westphal

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