January 2nd, 2005

Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

(no subject)

I feel that not RPing is very theraputic for me.    And for once all my muses agree..  you know.  That is the one good thing about muses.  That they can help you during these times.  I am trying to draw strength from my Citan muse, learning the lessons that he had to face, as well as Baralai and well Jin.. he's helping me to smile.    Telling me that it doesn't always have to be serious.    These valuable lessons from muses who are very close to me.  My Iruka muse just wants to take me out for Ramen and be motherly to me, my Fuji muse.. well okay so my Fuji muse wants me to go out and cause some pain.. but well I think that only has something to do with my Inui muse's juice.

But yes, a month should be taken, in which I don't RP..  that way I can gather a certain clarity around myself.  That way I can properly heal.  If I have not healed by then, yes I will take as much time as I need to.  It's good for me.. and I can still talk to friends, and grow closer to them, but I do not need muses trying to front for me, where I confuse their feelings with my own and vice versa.

What cued me in to this was yesterday morning when I was playing with Vincent and Jin..  well I suddenly got the impression that I could not -breathe-.  And I don't want that... that is when I knew I just was -not- ready.

When your heart is tied up to something or someone so strongly, if you undo the ties too quickly, you will get knots that press against your heart, then you are automatically forcing something.  Going slow is the way to do it.. because that way if you are gentle and thorough, you can untie those fragile knots.. and leave your heart still intact.

Wow, a serious post.  I've a feeling this journal will get more of them.
Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

Taken from optical_nerve

Make a list of 15 statements about yourself.
* 5 of the 15 statements must be LIES
* Post your list and have people guess which five are lies!

1. My favorite colour is green
2. My favorite seiyuu is Hoshi Souchirou
3.  I have a wierd obsession for cheesy eurodance
4. I have a glasses fetish.
5.  My first RP character was Schala Bainbridge
6. I lived with my grandmother for 20 years of my life
7. Rainy Thursdays are my bane.
8. I have two cats.
9.  Citan owns my soul.
10. I am utterly terrified of roller coasters
11. I have trust problems
12.  My favorite video game is Final Fantasy 7
13. My favorite animes are Naruto, Harutoki and Prince of Tennis.
14. Duran Duran is my favorite band.
15. I am all about the smoke and mirrors
  • Current Music
    OMD - Pandora's Box
Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

(no subject)

It takes alot of willpower to not click on the link that leads to her journal. 

That is why I typed in a bunch of random journal names in my space bar so that her journal will disappear.  As for the past year it had been a very important journal that I checked every day.  But now that it is not there.. well there is a empty space that is ever-numb.  But it is better now that it is numb then rather aching with feeling.

If I find myself typing out her journal, well then..  I know I can catch myself.. but it's harder with the click of a mouse.

Nap-time for me.

  • Current Music
    Pet Shop Boys - What have I done to deserve this
Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

~Iconage alert~

My new icon.. featuring Ludwig from Meine Liebe.

I think I might have to tell Debbie to keep her salivating to herself.  Oh wait, she likes Eduard and Naoji.  I FORGOT.

Well I like those two as well.. but Ludwig = Seki Toshihiko.

So I can't help it.
  • Current Music
    The Cure - Pictures Of You
Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

~Tears shining through sunshine~

I found this on nikko_nikko's journal.

It is beautiful.. I just wanted to share it with all of you.

-- As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't suppose to ever let you down, probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too loud, and love like you've never been hurt -- because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

That's a point to ponder. -_-
  • Current Music
    ÊÖ‰V¹ú¹â - ºáî†(New Year Version)