May 30th, 2004

Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

~Don't say you love me, you don't even know me..~

I had a dream that had Mel in it.

it was such a dream that made me sort of wake up blinking. She had actually combined herself with another icon of my past, Lisa and I had to watch her mess up Lisa. That was something that I did not want to see.. it was sad but it happened. And I remember Lisa walked in and I was in the tub. (Now granted Lisa and I were wierd like that.. we would hang out in each other's bathrooms while the other was taking a bath.. there was nothing sexual in it... we just could talk and we usually had alot to talk about) but anyways I was in the bathtub and then she walked in and talked about our fucked up past and how I supposedly screwed her over.

And my response was,

"I screwed -you- over?" and I was looking at Lisa and hearing Mel and it hurt. Especially when she started to go on about my grandmother, and in the dream part of me wanted to tear out of that bathtub and slap her on the face as hard as I could. But I did not.

After that I could not drag myself to sleep any longer. All pretense of sleep had been left and I woke up and just stared at the ceiling for awhile. I don't know what made me dream of Mel. But I know that I am over her. Despite a few really bad heart scars that if they get stepped on, they hurt a little bit, other then that they are fine.

And luckily Mel didn't turn me off women completely, though all the emotional bewilderment was enough to make me shy away for a few years.
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Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

~Excerpt from the Kuro and Nia Show~

SigurdxHyuga: Those soft tears did not waken Lian, he was too content in his dreams.. in the fact that he was together with his love in them.. he was indeed dreaming about Jayse, about soft lips caressing over his own lips, his long black hair spread out against the pillow, his breath was steady and sure. And he was free for the taking, free for the killing.. that is if Jayse could move himself to do it.. move himself to take the man that he had grown to love.
Deus Ex Mun: ((*dies* So tragic....))
SigurdxHyuga: (I know.. *thuds*)
Deus Ex Mun: Jayse's fingers tightened a little bit on the wire and he bit his lips, starting to lightly press against Lian's throat, the pressure slowly growing.. however he froze... and then drew back sharply, staggering to his feet and throwing th wire aside.. sinking to the floor to sob bitterly. He couldn't do it, not knowing that Lian loved him. He walked back to the cabinet and got out a gun, sitting on the bed and just holding it, considering what to do as he sobbed.
SigurdxHyuga: (*dies snickering*)
SigurdxHyuga: (What the fuck are you going to do with the gun.. *eyes Jayse*)
SigurdxHyuga: (*eyes Angst Whores R Us*)
SigurdxHyuga: (We think they want their merchandise back)
Deus Ex Mun: ((Jayse: X_x I dunno......))
Deus Ex Mun: ((*snarks* He's confuzzled.. he doesn't know what he wants to do))
Deus Ex Mun: ((*dies laughing*))
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