November 20th, 2003

Zoicite☆For all I carry are murdered

~This could have the potential to be long~

I know exactly where my admiration for gay men started.

It was when I was five years old. I was living with my grandmother and at the same time my Uncle Joel was living with us too. And he was gay. I swear he had the nicest looking boyfriends, and you know, they'd always sit down and play barbies with me. (Which was a big plus when I was five years old). When we went to Austrailia with my Uncle Joel to meet his Austrailian boyfriend, oh man I tell you I could of started spouting hearts over him. Let me tell you, you get converted early and there is no -hope- for you.

Of course I didn't figure out that my Uncle Joel was -gay- until I was around 12 or13.. and then I came right out and asked my grandmother if my Uncle Joel liked men in -that way-. I've always had the deepest respect for him of course and that has never changed. I respect anyone who has the conviction to live their life the way they want.

When I was 8 years old, I had a -very- bad expirience with a man and hence that colored my perception of them realistically until I was around sixteen. Much therapy of course was emminent but around gay men I definitely did feel safe. (And that safety, especially considering my expirience, was -very- much welcome.).

Ah I remember the Magus and Corrine fic that I was working on when I was 14 years old. (The world of anime and video games that was opened to me at that age, invaluable. *snickers*) I even wrote a gay character into the story. Of course he was secondary. (The rewrite he will have a prominent role, but not the lead, that will still be a het fic so to speak) But he did offer the main female character invaluable advice on men which the main character in her naivete -did- need. Ah man, now I need to continue writing that fic. Chapter 10.. still need to write that up.

And then when I went out with my girlfriend, Mel.. that is when I found out that fandom had a -term- for boys love. Shonen-ai and yaoi. I definitely glomped that up. I remember my first yaoi RP with fondness. Nigel Koyasu. I forget what Mel's character was, his name was Mikael and my character called him "Mika". But at any rate, it was definitely sweet.

Ah, I think that I have rambled enough about this subject.... little bits and pieces were in my mind and I had to get them out.

And The Chauffer by Duran Duran came on. How surreal.

"Way down the lane away
Living for another day
The Aphids swarm up in the drifting haze
Swim seagulls in the sky
Towards that hollowed western isle
My envied lady holds you fast in her gaze."


Did I ever say that Duran Duran was supposed to make sense? I think that is why I like them so much, because the lyrics are so surreal.
  • Current Music
    Duran Duran - The Chauffer