I remember her saying that she still wanted to be friends with me, I remember how we had been friends before all that tension got in the way, and it was good. I told her that we had to make sure that our tree was fully cut down before we could allow the roots to regrow.
We did have alot of problems at the end. And I can see why she still wants to be friends, I want to be friends too.. just right now it's so very painful to even look at her. I made food last night and all I could really concentrate on was not bursting into tears if I looked at her, and I didn't taste the BLT I made, it just really all tasted the same.
I don't have to worry about her reading this because she's long since really left LJ because of busy life and perhaps things I'd done. I'd really rather her not read it so anyone who is also on her f-list, please don't draw her attention to any of this.. if she stumbles across it later, she stumbles upon it.. this is just my way of healing; I suppose.