The method of war that usually occurs in my world is like how the proverbial Olympia and Sylvia split occured in my originall stories. It was just a statement or a request that got misread out of context, and then because well then everyone had their weapons out and at the ready, well everyone was cruising for a fight and it'd be a shame to waste these battleaxes and so peope start hitting each other with them, flesh becomes egos and blood becomes pride.
I'm guilty of this just as much as anyone else is granted but honestly, I am willing to let it go if I hear a, "Yes, we'll show you some consideration next time."
As Sylvia and Olympia constantly prove to me again and again, it's hard to break hundreds of years of habit. I don't think they'll every be 100 percent totally alright with each other.