Jyuu (jyuufish) wrote,


Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalked again, a rant by hyujin.

taibhse is stalking hyujin
taibhse’s REAL name : Osullivan Widergren
taibhse’s REAL DOB : 20th June 1977
Height :198 cm Weight : 129.4 kg
taibhse has dreamt about you : 19 times
taibhse became interested in you : 26th September 2002
taibhse’s latest dream about you
Both you and taibhse are working in an animal sanctuary together. taibhse suggests that you retire to the empty ape sanctuary for a while for a bit of role-play.
This is how taibhse describes your relationship behind your back
‘God its going fantastic. I’ve never felt happier……..ever. Nothing can go wrong now. Fuck tempting fate!’
taibhse’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
taibhse seems to get a thrill from continually stealing your toothbrushes. It is rumoured that taibhse uses them to scratch their ass.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
taibhse now has a full-colour image of you tattooed on their back.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Be mine forever and I’ll promise to never fart whilst you are eating your dinner.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 4 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, is that the police? This is hyujin, could you send someone over quick, a mad fucker by the name of taibhse is trying to knock my front door down with an axe."
taibhse’s Police File
taibhse poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is hyujin. In that case, you are royally fucked.

Testimonies about taibhse
omega_res_novae - Breastfeeder of Cats
‘I’m completely fucking gutted to hear about all of this. I always liked taibhse. Are you sure you’re accusing the right person?’
seraphjewel - Overweight cult comedian
‘Are you serious? Fucking hell. I should’ve known. Something tells me that taibhse is going to die pretty shortly.’
summerwing - Eats everything.
‘Fucking hell, in all honesty I’ve never met a bigger wanker than taibhse. Terrible person.’


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